Thirty years and counting after Roe vs. Wade, the relationship between abortion and the loss of fatherhood is only now being widely considered. The self-centered mantras of the abortionists and feminists have been efficacious in excising fatherhood from all debate and dialogue. As Christians we have focused on the loss of life of the children and the emotional, physical and spiritual loss to the mothers, but we have failed to address to any degree what young men lose to abortion. When a man’s complicity, complacency or tragic lack of legal recourse results in the killing of his child, he has lost the treasure of fatherhood. This is why there is a tremendous need for more pregnancy resource centers (PRCs) to develop men’s ministries. I am convinced that PRCs are the most effective way to fight the horror of abortion. PRCs have had an incalculable impact on thousands of women and their babies. But fathers remain largely unreached and are left without the life-giving information and truth that so benefit the mothers. The post abortion man is left to the ravages of guilt and shame and the desperate search for that part of himself that perished with his child.

King David provides a particularly poignant portrait of what a father experiences when his failures result in the death of his child. When his son Absolom was killed in battle, the king became despondent and despaired for his own life. David’s lament is recorded in 2 Samuel 13:33; And the king was deeply moved and went up to the gate and wept. And thus he said as he walked,“Oh my son Absolom, my son, my son Absolom! Would I had died instead of you, Oh Absolom my son, my son!” A brief review of the narrative in 2 Samuel reveals that the events that lead to Absolom’s death were a result of David’s failure to provide for (spiritually and emotionally) and protect his children. The grief we hear in the the king’s cry is rooted in the loss of fatherhood. Gone with Absolom was the relationship between a father and his child. The king had lost a son.

Every abortion results in the loss of life. But not only that. Every life lost is a relationship lost–a father-child relationship that is also aborted. Most young men harbor the erroneous belief that they will be a father in nine months if the situation is not “fixed”. Because he does not see himself as being a father already the abortion-minded man does not recognize that he is aborting his own fatherhood. He believes he is merely avoiding it. Additionally, he believes he has nothing to lose because he does not bear the physical burden of pregnancy nor does he have to endure the procedure. Those who work in PRC ministry have the unique opportunity to dispel this narcotic notion that addicts indulgent young men to themselves. What many of these men fail to grasp is that they are fathers already with the responsibility and privilege to enter into a relationship with their pre born child through the support, care and protection of the child’s mother.

To be effective in the effort to spare men from forsaking their fatherhood, PRCs must become more involved in reaching out to men through an established men’s ministry at your centers. As a director already seeking volunteers to minister to women you must ask yourself,“How do we add the male component?” Obviously any expansion of programs or services requires additional resources. This is why the full involvement of the church is critical. Perhaps now is the time for your PRC to encourage men in your churches and community with their pregnancy centers and pro-life work. Why not begin now to train up men to counsel and mentor young men about the sanctity of life and abortion issues? When male counselors sit down with a client and show him the reality of the living, growing child–his child–residing in the womb of the girl in the next room, and provide accurate information about abortion and its risks, we help another generation embrace fatherhood and turn away from the selfishness and deception that emasculates their manhood. If PRCs across this country reached out to young men in a consistent and compelling manner multitudes of men will never suffer the loss fatherhood by abortion. Rather thousands of men will discover just how special being a father can be.