Does Abortion Affect Men?

Scott MillerThat is a question people do not like to think about or even refuse to think about. After all, most believe it is none of the man’s business because it is the woman’s body. As well, if any consider the father at all, they believe they are glad that the abortion occurred and that they have no feelings of regret regarding the experience anyways. That last statement is a convenient way for the whole culture to dismiss the atrocities of abortion particularly as it relates to the fathers of the children. That is an opinion, a culturally correct opinion. Let me tell you my experience.

When my girlfriend aborted our child I was immediately filled with traumatic emotions that I could not explain or figure out. I had been told that the child wasn’t a child, (it was a fetus) so any uncomfortable feelings I was having were obviously my problem, not the problem of the procedure. So, there was no reason to look at my emotional difficulties in the light of the abortion being the death of a child. I have found that the opposite is true. Once I looked at the abortion from the perspective of reality, that abortion took the life of my child, then my uncomfortable emotions made sense and I was able to sort them out from the perspective of reality.

What did I have to sort out? I had to sort out guilt for not defending the life of my child. I had to sort out shame for not taking hold of the responsibilities that I had for that child. I had to sort out the loss of growth I experienced that would have come had I risen to the occasion and taken on what I needed to face in order to let the child survive. I had to sort out the loss of relationship I experienced in the long run by not taking on those responsibilities when I was faced with them. I had to sort out the fact that I was hanging on to the child in my heart and would not let her go back to her Creator because I had never had the chance to be with her. I had to sort out the fact that I was bitter and angry that I was not warned about these repercussions when people were pushing for the abortion and that I had to live with these repercussions for so long before being able to uncover their reality.

The guilt and shame of my involvement kept me quiet as did the apparent lack of concern of society as a whole for the dilemma I was in. I was left in a bitter isolated shell that I could not understand. I was drawn to substance abuse to deal with my tormented feelings which affected me and the people around me.

How has healing progressed in my life? I needed help, and that help did not come from the culture. The help came from the spirit of truth who gradually and gently lifted the veil off the things I was feeling and began to show me their source. I was able to begin to sort things out because I was enabled to look at them from the perspective of reality. The reality was that I had lost my child and I had been misled by being encouraged to believe that this abortion was simply a removal of a clump of cells and it was a helpful solution to the dilemma we were in. The belief that abortion is a benign experience that has no impact on people is a deception.

Abortion affects the fathers of the children. Jesus can help them. He has the ability to provide clarity, forgiveness and healing. He came to set the captives free and he will do that for the father of an aborted child. Jesus said that when we know the truth the truth will set us free. When we recognize the truth about what has happened in an abortion, we can begin to heal. It has been a long process but it continues to unfold as I yield myself to Him the Author of life and truth.

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